He really is my Wonder Hubby. He is awesome and I love him to pieces. He is always striving to make me happy. He practically gives me what ever I ask for. He tries to make me laugh when I'm sad. He encourages me when I feel like I have no hope. He looks after me like no one else does. He loves all of me, even if I don't. He is a wonderful man.
He is also an awesome father. He does everything with and for the kids. He helps me around the house and in looking after the kids when he's not working. He is not unfamiliar with the washing machine, pooey nappies, or cooking dinner. He irons his own uniform for work, and our daughters uniforms for school- because I don't iron anything!
This year was our 17th anniversary of being together. 13th anniversary of being married. I can easily say that I have never not enjoyed him. I've never not loved being with him. We argue over petty things at times, but mostly we honestly enjoy each other. He can drive me bonkers when we're together a lot (he loves noise and singing at the top of his voice, I like quite and solitude!), and he certainly has a knack of annoying the shit out of me sometimes. But generally, we're happy with each other.
My life would be less without him in it. With out him to laugh with (and at)~ Without him to do things with~ Without him to raise our children with (and my goodness didn't we make AMAZING little humans together?!). I would be less with out him. Next year marks the year that we will have been with each other, as long as we had been without each other in our lives. I will have spent half of my life with this wonderful man. How lucky am I?
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Reading from the beginning...
I haven't been here for 5 months. I just read my blog back from the beginning. And what I realised is that I have been fighting myself for such a long time. According to this blog, it's been 2 years, but in reality, I don't remember the last time I wasn't trying to lose weight, or that I didn't have in the back of my mind 'when I lose weight, when I get fitter, when I .......'.
That makes me so sad. I don't remember when it's ever been 'I'm happy with it all NOW'. I don't remember the last time I was really happy with myself in any of what I did or do. As a wife or mother. As a daughter or sister. As a teacher and worker. As myself. I am always dissatisfied with what I do. What I say. How I am. I need to work on that. A lot.
Because I am good and worthy and worth it. Because I do my best at what I do. Because I AM an awesome wife and mum and sister and daughter and person, in general.
Because I am a role model to my children and I never want them to be dissatisfied with themselves, as I am. Because I want a full and exciting life and have to stop waiting for 'IT' to happen. Because 'it' is happening. It is life. It happens if I am over weight or unfit or working or studying or mothering or what ever. I need to enjoy it all. Enjoy me. Enjoy life.
That makes me so sad. I don't remember when it's ever been 'I'm happy with it all NOW'. I don't remember the last time I was really happy with myself in any of what I did or do. As a wife or mother. As a daughter or sister. As a teacher and worker. As myself. I am always dissatisfied with what I do. What I say. How I am. I need to work on that. A lot.
Because I am good and worthy and worth it. Because I do my best at what I do. Because I AM an awesome wife and mum and sister and daughter and person, in general.
Because I am a role model to my children and I never want them to be dissatisfied with themselves, as I am. Because I want a full and exciting life and have to stop waiting for 'IT' to happen. Because 'it' is happening. It is life. It happens if I am over weight or unfit or working or studying or mothering or what ever. I need to enjoy it all. Enjoy me. Enjoy life.
Monday, July 7, 2014
A new city, a new life....
It's been a while.....Around 9 months actually. And a lot has changed! We have moved from the out back, back to civilisation, and it's awesome! So much more of the stuff I like to do. The stuff I have grown up doing, like browsing in shops, going to markets and going to the cinema. I am really loving where we live.
My only hesitation in saying this place in my perfect place, is that I don't have my little village with me, which I had in the bush. The friends and their families. The routines I had. I always knew there would be some time within a week (usually with in every day!), when I would see one of my beautiful friends. At playgroup, or dancing, at the park, their houses, or just down at the shop.
Here, most of my days pass without seeing anyone other than WonderHubby and the kids. Or the other people I do see, aren't people I have quality interactions with. People I don't necessarily connect with on any level, other than 'Hi' and 'Bye'. People like the kids teachers, the lady next door, or the shop assistant who doesn't know me from the next customer she's serving.
One amazingly awesome thing about small towns, like where we used to live was the people you meet. The friendships and support you get. Even the shop assistants knew us. They knew I had 3 kids. They knew who WH is. They had some idea of what my life was. But here, in a much bigger city, I'm just another face in the crowd. I'm lonely for the first time in a long time. It's a big change from 4 years of being supported by such amazing people like those I had around me. I miss my friends, like mad. I see photos of them and their children and I am missing out on them. Their kids have already grown in the 4 weeks we've been gone. I won't get to be there for the milestones. I won't be there for the fun and games, or the trials and tribulations. It makes me so sad. I know that's life. I just wish I could bring them with me!
I'm sure I will build new friendships. Create a new little village. But it will take me time. I am shy by nature. I am unconfident in any kind of interest people show in me. I don't believe people would like me. I don't really make friends easily, not good friends anyway. Though I am an easy going and plain speaking kind of person, it's sometimes hard for me to let people in. I question why anyone would want to have me in their lives. Even now, after almost 17 years of being together I will still, very occasionally ask WH why he wants me in his life. He clearly loves me. And he obviously wants to be with me, to have me with him everyday. But, that's how insidious it is and and how deep my doubts run. That's how much I question myself!
Our new home is lovely. The kids seem to be settling fairly well. Bear is a lot like me, and is proving slow to warm up to her new friends. There were some tears and tough mornings for her in going to a new school. But the past week or so she is much happier going to school. There weren't any tears on going to school for the week before the school holidays. I'm hoping there won't be any after the holidays either!
Little Dude is totally go-with-the-flow, like his daddy, and has jumped into his new school and friendships with absolute enthusiasm. He and Bear have started doing Karate, which has been something Little Dude has wanted to do since he knew what it was! He was very excited and did really well for his first lesson!
And Buggy is still getting used to the idea of being uprooted. He's still unsure of his new day care, he is coming in to sleep with me nearly every night, which was happening maybe once a week or less before we moved house. His tantrums have escalated and his anger and frustration levels are pretty high right now. That could just be the fact that he's 3 1/2, and most likely is partly due to that, but I can see he's still trying to adjust to his new life.
WonderHubby seems to be loving the change. He is enjoying his job much more, especially the hours and is enthusiastic about new opportunities he can undertake in his personal life too.
I am excited about new opportunities too. I will be able to join a gym again. I might start working a day or two a week. I want to get a bike, so I can ride to the beach.... lots of new and exciting changes ahead. And this place, the area we're living in, just feels right. It feels good. I smile when I walk or drive around. Life's pretty damned good.
My only hesitation in saying this place in my perfect place, is that I don't have my little village with me, which I had in the bush. The friends and their families. The routines I had. I always knew there would be some time within a week (usually with in every day!), when I would see one of my beautiful friends. At playgroup, or dancing, at the park, their houses, or just down at the shop.
Here, most of my days pass without seeing anyone other than WonderHubby and the kids. Or the other people I do see, aren't people I have quality interactions with. People I don't necessarily connect with on any level, other than 'Hi' and 'Bye'. People like the kids teachers, the lady next door, or the shop assistant who doesn't know me from the next customer she's serving.
 |
| One of the beaches about 15 minutes from our house. |
I'm sure I will build new friendships. Create a new little village. But it will take me time. I am shy by nature. I am unconfident in any kind of interest people show in me. I don't believe people would like me. I don't really make friends easily, not good friends anyway. Though I am an easy going and plain speaking kind of person, it's sometimes hard for me to let people in. I question why anyone would want to have me in their lives. Even now, after almost 17 years of being together I will still, very occasionally ask WH why he wants me in his life. He clearly loves me. And he obviously wants to be with me, to have me with him everyday. But, that's how insidious it is and and how deep my doubts run. That's how much I question myself!
Our new home is lovely. The kids seem to be settling fairly well. Bear is a lot like me, and is proving slow to warm up to her new friends. There were some tears and tough mornings for her in going to a new school. But the past week or so she is much happier going to school. There weren't any tears on going to school for the week before the school holidays. I'm hoping there won't be any after the holidays either!
And Buggy is still getting used to the idea of being uprooted. He's still unsure of his new day care, he is coming in to sleep with me nearly every night, which was happening maybe once a week or less before we moved house. His tantrums have escalated and his anger and frustration levels are pretty high right now. That could just be the fact that he's 3 1/2, and most likely is partly due to that, but I can see he's still trying to adjust to his new life.
WonderHubby seems to be loving the change. He is enjoying his job much more, especially the hours and is enthusiastic about new opportunities he can undertake in his personal life too.
I am excited about new opportunities too. I will be able to join a gym again. I might start working a day or two a week. I want to get a bike, so I can ride to the beach.... lots of new and exciting changes ahead. And this place, the area we're living in, just feels right. It feels good. I smile when I walk or drive around. Life's pretty damned good.
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