I haven't been here for 5 months. I just read my blog back from the beginning. And what I realised is that I have been fighting myself for such a long time. According to this blog, it's been 2 years, but in reality, I don't remember the last time I wasn't trying to lose weight, or that I didn't have in the back of my mind 'when I lose weight, when I get fitter, when I .......'.
That makes me so sad. I don't remember when it's ever been 'I'm happy with it all NOW'. I don't remember the last time I was really happy with myself in any of what I did or do. As a wife or mother. As a daughter or sister. As a teacher and worker. As myself. I am always dissatisfied with what I do. What I say. How I am. I need to work on that. A lot.
Because I am good and worthy and worth it. Because I do my best at what I do. Because I AM an awesome wife and mum and sister and daughter and person, in general.
Because I am a role model to my children and I never want them to be dissatisfied with themselves, as I am. Because I want a full and exciting life and have to stop waiting for 'IT' to happen. Because 'it' is happening. It is life. It happens if I am over weight or unfit or working or studying or mothering or what ever. I need to enjoy it all. Enjoy me. Enjoy life.
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