I've been uncomfortable in my own skin for...well, a really long time. Since I can remember, really. Even though, before having my kids, I was never overweight, I was fit and healthy. But I still didn't like how I looked. I couldn't appreciate how fit and strong I was.
Now, I am overweight and unfit and kinda unhealthy (mostly for the fact that I am 35+ kg overweight!), I am learning to appreciate myself for all of my flaws. I can't say I like how I look, because I don't, but I can look at myself and be real. I can see what my body can do. I can appreciate the fact that I am me. I am blessed with being healthy (I don't have any diseases- temporary, permanent, congenital or otherwise) my body works as it's supposed to. With some work, I can be fit and healthy again. With dedication and consistency. And I can appreciate myself for what I am; healthy, kind, giving, intelligent and all the rest of it! I suppose that kind of wisdom comes with age and life experience.
But I am still 35kg overweight. And I do want to get fitter and healthier. This last year, I have said goodbye to 8 kgs. At my heaviest I was 111kg, and as of today, I am 103kg. Even after the indulgences of Christmas, it's still gone! So it would seems, it's permanent. And whilst I'm pleased to be able to say I lost 8kg, rather than gained anything, I did aim to have done more with my health and fitness. I didn't really get close to what I aimed to achieve.
Each year since I started blogging I have had similar goals. I need to figure out a way to make it happen. I need to find my motivator. Because it seems being fit and healthy for myself and family, just isn't doing it for me. I have the motivation of a holiday in 6 months time for this year. I'm hoping that's enough to get me started and then to keep me going. I also plan to contact two friends who have lost a lot of weight to pick their brains. I'm going to wirte more too. Maybe here in my blog, or maybe just in a journal.
All-in-all, this year has been a pretty good one. A bit non eventful, after our big move from the bush in 2014. But a good year none the less. Everyone settled into our new home, and it really does feel like we belong here. I made some wonderful new friends. Bear and Little Dude went from strength to strength with sports and school achievements; with making friends and finding their own special niches. Buggy made some great little friends and completed his last year of pre school. WonderHubby settled into work and has loved the new challenges it's brought him. Life settled into a lovely rhythm.
2016 already promises to be a pretty big one, even though we haven't quite said good bye to 2015. My beautiful (not so much of a) baby turns 5 and starts big school. Little Dude and Bear turn 8 and 9 this year, and will be going into years 2 and 3 at school. We will be buying our own home. I will be studying and completing another college degree. I will probably be going back to work. And I will be reviewing on my goal of travelling more, starting with an 11 day trip to Fiji with two wonderful friends! And those are just the biggest details of the year, the ones that are pre-planned! I'm excited, and also a little daunted by the enormity of what it seems it will be. I think it might just be a bit crazy-busy, and a lot of it new to us all, but it will be perfect, so long as I have my amazing family with me. We will get it done, together!
All the best for 2016 Kel! Sounds like a huge year in the works! Good luck with your weight loss goals. It really can be such a challenge but I'm sure you'll get there. I lost a heap of weight and have now put most of it back on again after vowing to myself that I would never let that happen again. So hard sometimes to focus on our health while juggling everything else! xoxo
ReplyDelete