I haven't posted in a long time. I think in part that is because I have been unmotivated to, by my life in general. I feel I do the same things day in day out. But, in saying that I have also been super busy with all of that same-stuff-different-day stuff!
In hind sight, I suppose a fair bit has happened over the last month or two. Bear Bear started kindy, big school. She is absolutely loving it and is in her element. She has received several awards and is learning to read at a rate of knots. Little Dude has started at pre school and has made new friends and is settling in, and Buggy Boo is back at day care, two days a week this year and he just loves going.
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| Little Dude and Bear walking Buggy to day care for the first time this year. |
I have, once again, started studying at uni. It is all a little overwhelming, but I am just sticking to the suggested schedule and doing what I have to. I will get back into the swing of it all, it has just been over 2 years since I have studied anything! My brain has turned into mummy-mush. Plus it's a subject I have failed (after having my babies #1 and #2) so I am a bit nervous that I might fail again. But I have plenty of time to devote to studies, with all of the kids in day care/pre school/ school for two days a week. I just need to be organised, which is so not my forte. I am working on that!
I am feeling a bit more in control of everything, and I think it's safe to say I am not suffering with my PND or any sort of depression right now. I am able to keep the house clean (more oft than not!), see the good in life and just enjoy the moment, not thinking of the "what if's", "what I did wrong's" and "how terrible I am's". There are more and more moments of loving life, and even a few of loving me. Whilst sleep is still broken and not ideal, I am rested most days and if not, I have two days to myself, where I can sleep if I need to, or just zone out and not stress about things (after I have finished studying for that day of course!).
On the weight loss front, well....I'm not losing weight. I'm not any fitter, but I am also not any fatter. I am still a working on it all, and I am getting there with prioritising me, and making sure I eat well and most importantly for me to focus on, that I get out and exercise. So much of it is in my own head and that is proving to be the tough part to really change. Yet another work in progress!
WonderHubby is well, just as wonderful as ever. He IS going absolutely great guns on losing weight, and has lost about 10kg since the beginning of the year. (Why, oh why, is it that men seem to do it so much more easily than women?!!!) And as proud of him as I am, because he is focused and determined and has done it all by himself, I must say I am also a touch jealous/frustrated/envious of how he can focus so well and JFDI (just fucking DO IT!!!). I have so much more weight to lose than him, and barely a kilo is gone since January this year.
Because I have more time to myself, I am being better. Better mum, wife, house wife, friend and even community member. I am finding my patience, my understanding, drive and my want to give again. MY mojo is returning. The mojo I lost in becoming mum. I am becoming a better me. Different to before, but the same too. I am finding my humour and my perspective. Clarity. Oh sweet clarity. It is great to have it all back. I am becoming a happy chappy again.
I am feeling a bit more in control of everything, and I think it's safe to say I am not suffering with my PND or any sort of depression right now. I am able to keep the house clean (more oft than not!), see the good in life and just enjoy the moment, not thinking of the "what if's", "what I did wrong's" and "how terrible I am's". There are more and more moments of loving life, and even a few of loving me. Whilst sleep is still broken and not ideal, I am rested most days and if not, I have two days to myself, where I can sleep if I need to, or just zone out and not stress about things (after I have finished studying for that day of course!).
On the weight loss front, well....I'm not losing weight. I'm not any fitter, but I am also not any fatter. I am still a working on it all, and I am getting there with prioritising me, and making sure I eat well and most importantly for me to focus on, that I get out and exercise. So much of it is in my own head and that is proving to be the tough part to really change. Yet another work in progress!
WonderHubby is well, just as wonderful as ever. He IS going absolutely great guns on losing weight, and has lost about 10kg since the beginning of the year. (Why, oh why, is it that men seem to do it so much more easily than women?!!!) And as proud of him as I am, because he is focused and determined and has done it all by himself, I must say I am also a touch jealous/frustrated/envious of how he can focus so well and JFDI (just fucking DO IT!!!). I have so much more weight to lose than him, and barely a kilo is gone since January this year.
Because I have more time to myself, I am being better. Better mum, wife, house wife, friend and even community member. I am finding my patience, my understanding, drive and my want to give again. MY mojo is returning. The mojo I lost in becoming mum. I am becoming a better me. Different to before, but the same too. I am finding my humour and my perspective. Clarity. Oh sweet clarity. It is great to have it all back. I am becoming a happy chappy again.
Wow sounds like a different Kellie, love it..Keep up the good work and glad to hear those kiddies are enjoying their daycare, preschool and school and you getting 2 days a week. Good luck with all the study
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