...and I still, haven't had any significant weight loss. I don't get how it can be in the fore front of my mind, day in and day out, and yet, still here I am 30kg over weight. I know how to do it. I know what to eat, that I need to exercise, my triggers for eating bad foods, making bad choices...yet, I am still here fat, uncomfortable and unhappy with myself. Bleugh. It is a terrible feeling. You'd think that might be enough to change wouldn't you?
To say it fucking sucks is an understatement. To say I am totally disappointed in myself, is an understatement. To say I am disgusted I have let myself get here...that my friends is true. To say it is all my own fault, again true. I know it, why the hell can't I change it?? This shit is such a fucking mind game for me. The science of it is all so simple. Energy in, energy out. Get the right mix and you lose weight. Eat healthy foods and you lose weight. Exercise moderately and YOU LOSE WEIGHT!!!!! Simple as that. Right....
Starting again tomorrow. I have to be stronger willed. I.HAVE.TO.BE!!!!! I HAVE to exercise. When I think I will do something like go out and do some skipping or intervals or circuit, I need to DO IT. When I think I should pack a healthy lunch rather than eat it when I get home, I should DO IT!
So this week coming, I will:
Eat 2 serves of fruit, 5 serves of veggies
Have a healthy breaky
Eat less sugar (IE, none added to tea/coffee etc)
Try to have no refined/packaged foods like muesli bars
Exercise moderately for 45mins a day, 5/7days (ie, until I'm sweaty!)
Hopefully this might work this time. Try try try again, right? Has to stick sooner or later. Hopefully sonner rather than later.
Oh Kel, this journey can be so hard! I know how you feel...I have 10kg still to lose and it's HARD! I've been unwell and I'm going to get blood tests this week to check hormone levels etc. If some of those things are off it can make losing weight impossible! Might be worth considering?? Also, the mind games are right...we all get caught up with belief systems that don't serve us - things like - we don't deserve to feel good, we're not worthy, we're lazy etc. It is important to try and remove these as it really makes it way more of an uphill battle. Big hugs to you...I would say step 1 along with all of those great healthy choices is to stop beating up on yourself and start talking to yourself like you would your best friend. Cut the negative talk - it does not help your mission! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks Kris. I am trying to be nicer to myself, and not get too down on myself. It's a bit hard though, when i do really want this. All I have to do is DO IT! I know it will take time, but right now, I feel like all I am doing is treading water. I guess it's better than going backwards, and getting fatter....
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